Sunrise Nicole Nordeman

If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story

I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley
Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill And find that…
(Chours)
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank you, thank you
That after the long night, you are sunrise

There’s a moment when
Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone

But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us

(Chours)
You alone will shine
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine

(Chours)
You are sunrise

“Hey its ok, drama is good.  It shows our need for Jesus.”  Dave Sim

Man I miss you Dave Sim….

Do you remember?

It seems like whenever I am stressed, I get into this weird emo mood where I do a lot of thinking.  Thinking about everything, I dunno maybe it calms me alittle.  But most recently I’ve found myself thinking about the past a lot.  Reading over old xanga entries, notes or revisiting old memories.  It always strikes me how much things change over time, enemies turn to friends, and friends to enemies. Your best friend can turn into a complete stranger, and someone can enter and leave your life in a blink of an eye.  The following are just some memories of people that have struck me over the years…..

Do you remember……when you used to hate me? It is crazy how far we have come from so much dislike to one of my best friends….You have always been a rock for me even when I didn’t know it. Thank you….its funny how much things change

Do you remember…..when we were brothers? When we fought along side each other through the ups and downs of life?  Through fights and girls and problems we were always together…..where are we now?

Do you remember….talking about poetry oh so long ago on the bus to mt. hermon?  Since then we have gone through so much from dinner/movie nights to midnight Harry Potter.  Who would have thought we would be such good friends

Do you remember…..the dance we made up, and David’s dance mix?  Through thick and thin I could always count on your insight and cheerfulness, when ever I see you, you cheer me up.  Look how far we have come since 7^th grade…. glasses, braces and all

Do you remember…..running after me at summit?  Its always weird just feeling there is  some kind of bond between us.  You always surprise me with your depth and understanding. You’re pretty funny and chill too.  Who would have thought we had so much in common?

Do you remember….talking to me during the Seattle Seahawk playoff game?  I’ll never know why you pursued a punk kid like me.  Thank you for your friendship and insight over the years through the ups and downs.  I don’t know why you have stuck with me this long

Do you remember…when you couldn’t stand me because I was so annoying and nosey and because I took the clothes pin game too seriously? (ha what’s changed?)  But as time went on you have become one of my best friends.  When ever I think of what true friendship is, I always think of our relationship.  Thank for your strength and the constant effort you put into our friendship.

Do you remember….Trying to change the words to boy band songs?  So many crazy times from midnight serenades to make up.  We have crossed paths so many times over the years.  Over the years I have developed a lot of respect for you.

Do you remember….Meeting at the ping pong table then talking on the Mccarty heaters for hours and hours?  You always crack me up with your unique spirit.  Though we don’t talk as much anymore there is always a part of me that wants to look after you and make sure you are doing ok.

Do you remember….When we first met at poker? And we both thought each other were chumps?   Then pho happened, then lunch….then all the laughs and shady jokes and talks about community and Jesus.  Good thing not all things are determined by first impressions.

Do you remember….how shady the first few times we hung out were? Haha why didn’t I just close the deal then?  I remember when when I thought you were so quiet and reserved. How wrong I was.  I really enjoy how you can always surprise me with your actions.  Come back soon

Do you remember….Holding my face looking me straight in the eye and telling me that you’re proud of me?  You have always come in and out of my life over the years.  But no matter when you come or how long you stay, you are always such a supply of encouragement and a blessing to me.

Do you remember….Getting “lost” going to Wendy’s?  When we ran around red square and just screamed, then watched the sunset?  I love how you can combine fun and deepness at the same time.  It’s crazy to see how you search and struggle for God always.  We have all seen you grow.

Do you remember…eating at Ichiro?  All our meetings at starbucks?  Thank you for mentoring me over the last year.  It’s crazy that you still are teaching despite being so far away.

Do you remember…Running through the rain at summit?  The kids corner in fireworks?   I love your heart and your caring spirit.  Please don’t change, and don’t let the world jade your loving heart.

Do you remember…how we could never beat shredder?  All the late night football and basketball games?  Man I miss that kind of fellowship.  I guess I am truly a gamer at heart

Do you remember….Staying up late talking at Co-Hi?  I remember talking about life and about one of the first songs you wrote.  Even though we have fallen out of contact….i heard another one of your songs recently…..Do you know how much you have grown?  I’m proud of you

Well I think I’m done.  Even though there are so many more that have touched me I will leave it at that.   I don’t even know why I wrote this, seeing as how 80% of the people above don’t read xanga, and the other 20% might not remember.  But I guess it just feels good to get my thoughts down sometimes.  So for all those who have left memories in my life thank you  =}

Lets all go to the movies……

So summer is in full force, and with that comes, you guessed it, a lot of movies.  As most of you know I’m a big fan of movies. Many of the movies I have seen have raised some interesting questions for me to ponder over…..props if you guess which movies these question are from(they are both old and new).

Can a person be brought into your life for you a certain period of time, where you learn, grow, and love together, and then leave?  Can two people love each other, and the end result not be marriage?  Can that still be beautiful?

This idea seems interesting to me, especially since it’s not a typical movie question.  Usually its boy meets girl, drama ensues, then they come to their senses and live happily ever after.  But this question seems a lot more grounded in reality.  Also where does this fit into a Christian lifestyle….with all the terms like dating for marriage, courtship, and kissing dating goodbye, emotional dating, it seems like there is a standard to strive for.   But what really is a successful relationship? One that ends in marriage? One that you grow from?  Can it fail and still be valid? 

Is there ever a time where it is more glorious to come in last place than first place? What if the things we once found so important, now seem meaningless?

We strive so hard to make a name for ourselves, to succeed at something, maybe even to be the best at something.  The world tells us to be faster, better, and smarter than the guy next to you.  But what if what the world tells is totally wrong, and if you slowed down a little you would find that what the world tells you is a lie.  What is the true meaning of successful is the opposite of coming in first place?  What does it look like to finish last more often? And if you do finish first, what does it mean to truly be humble?

Who is a better person?  One who lives his life selfishly, but at a pivotal moment acts courageously, honorably, and selflessly?  Or one who tries to do the right thing and tries to live a pure life, but in a pivotal moment acts out of selfish impulse?

This reminded me of two old friends I’ve been talking a lot to lately.  One leads a faster lifestyle, and basically takes whatever he wants. Yet, when he was offered something he has wanted a long time, he refused it because “it wasn’t right”.  Under different circumstances he would have taken it in a second, but he didn’t and did the right thing in the face of his own desire.   My other friend, fights to hard to do the right thing.  He fought and fought and when that moment came….he gave in to his own desires.  Who has more integrity?  The selfish friend who did the right thing? Or the one who tried to be pure but failed?  I find that I have deep respect for both of them.  But it makes me wonder what integrity means.  Is it a moment’s decision, or is it trying to do the right thing?  Is it some of both?  Did both friends have integrity?

Can a man really love a woman enough to devote his whole being to her; to build her a house, to read to her, to stay with her?   Can love transcend class, time, and sickness?  Can it really be like the movies?

What does it look like to have unconditional love for someone?  Is it possible to have a love that never gets tired or fades out even after years of separation and hardships?  What does it look like to devout yourself to loving someone? Whether it be in a romantic relationship or otherwise.   Can people really love like that?

Are there really magic mail boxes? If so can they really lead me to my future girlfriend?

Haha ok that last one is a joke….but lake house was good for all you haters out there…..

I guess a big thing that I have been thinking about that ties all these things together is the idea of success and failure.   What do they look like in God’s terms?  Do we have a twisted worldly sense of these words?  Can failure some times be a success and success failure?   Heh so many questions……maybe I’ll just watch more movies….

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Damn so summer I get all nostalgic and sappy.  This is probably one of the most romantic/emo songs ever.  To just be with someone and let the world slip away…isn’t that like a line from rain? Haha.   This is totally a drive around at night song.  Or a lie in the grass under the stars song.  Lol man that’s hot.

I love summer =)

When You've Got Dlee, Flaunt It.

‘nuf said…..lol